Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Zumba...three words...Oh... my.. God.

Well the cold never came to anything fortunately, so the only jelly legs I am suffering are from 45 minutes torturous Zumba. I am really, really sh*t at it. To add insult to injury there was a lot of ass shaking today and 'I' kindly informed me that 'you have a great ass to shake'. That's being nice for 'your ass is fat and looks hilarious when you waggle it'. What the hell, it's got to do some good.

Given the amount of times I swim or take part in aqua fit classes, I have invested in two new swimsuits. The old one was starting to perish as they do. Took them out of the packets to try on. I am now convinced you have to be a qualified contortionist to get into these things. Decided to jump in neck first and was disconcerted by the amount of seam popping that I seemed to be hearing. Checked the suit for burst bits but couldn't see any. What a sight. Said they had 'shelf bust support'. This turned out to be a bit of cloth inside with a strip of elastic which wouldn't have supported two fried eggs let alone my ample bits. Tried to rearrange myself. Not really sure whether you are supposed to wear the thing with your knockers squashed flat against you or to hitch them up so one escapes during aqua fit and hits you in the eye. Console myself with a Cadbury's Picnic bar from the selection box leftovers.

Will stick with the old suit...