Tuesday, 15 February 2011

L comes down stairs. 'I only weigh 4 stone six Mum. What do you weigh?.....Twenty six?'

How to kick a woman when she is down. I should be pleased. After eighteen months of uncertainty about S's job he now has a new one to go to, but instead of swinging from the chandeliers I feel strangely morose. I have come to the conclusion that as adults we just seem to lurch from one worry to the next. First it was the job, now I am worrying about how he will get on at the new job, if he will like it etc. etc. Can't make up my mind if I am just morphing into a paranoid nutcase or if something is wrong with me. So I am worrying about myself as well. How I long to go back to the days of school bullies, slappings from your parents and rationed sweeties. Aye life was so much simpler as a kid.....

Have an appointment with a surgeon next week about my gallstones or should I say gallstone. There is only one.  Don't know how long I have been carting it about but it has been giving me gip on and off since H was born. They can occur after pregnancy so maybe he gave me it, along with the growth on the back of my neck which I had to get chopped off.  Normally terrified of hospitals, I virtually sprinted there to get it removed after S said that a woman in Next was trying to hang her coat on it. I got wheeled into theatre as it was a 'bleeder' and it couldn't be removed at the surgery. It is a strange experience to get wheeled into an operating theatre awake then wheeled out again completely compus mentis.  Sitting in recovery next to genuinely ill folk waking up from operations, I felt like a fraud as I observed folk snoring, crying, swearing and flailing about like mad things. Not very nice. Hope I don't need an op, have been terrified of anaesthetics since I had gas at the dentist when I was seven, and I bet you I will be a swearer as I come to. I am secretly hoping the gallstone weighs about four stone and my dieting worries are over...........