Wednesday, 9 February 2011

The school disco. Something I used to avoid like the plague as a kid. Now Karma has me running them as an adult.  These things do not 'run themselves' as some would believe. They involve planning and a lot of running about,  usually when you can think of better things to be doing with your time.  That is why last week saw me trailing tat shops for dancing prizes and A and myself battling the elements to pick up the booze. In this case - water.  Yes folks, Prohibition hasn't just reached the school party, the discos are included as well.  A and I trailed our respective offspring to Batleys on Friday afternoon after a visit to MacDonalds (call the Social Services!) to collect the water. Marginally daring in the fact that as well as plain water you are also allowed flavoured water and fruit juice. Flavoured water - more additives than you can count hidden in clear liquid so it must be okay.  Anyway arrived at 6 o'clock loaded up with dancing prizes and glow sticks. The hoards arrived by 6.30 and by 7 someone had squirted the contents of their glow stick in their eye. That'll be them banned now. It did say they were non toxic but the kid in question will probably end up with a luminous eyeball for a week. Imagine waking up in the dark and seeing a big florescent eyeball staring at you in the mirror. You would think you were being visited by Mike from Monsters Inc.  Anyway, a good time was had by all and the kids went home to their beds while we went home to paracetamol and a stiff drink.

While wrapping the dancing prizes this afternoon I watched 'Embarrassing Bodies' on Channel 4 on demand. It was either that or Vanessa Feltz.  Vanessa Feltz or some body's rectal prolapse. Mmmm..... hard choice. Morbid curiosity made me watch the docs. I will NEVER, EVER understand the compulsion for folk to keep their body horrors to themselves for years and then find it necessary to display them to the nation. A man with what looked like his twin growing out of his stomach, nope it was a giant hernia. A woman who had had surgery on her lady bits which had gone wrong. WHAT POSSESSES THEM?  She can't show her partner, she's just too embarrassed, but there she is in all her glory, ankles at her ears while the whole nation simultaneously recoils in horror then leans forward for a better look. It was enough to put me off my lunch.