Thursday, 24 February 2011

Who is reading this blog at seven in the morning on a regular basis?  Come on! Own up,  I know you are there!

 After my good friend A said she wanted to join the SAHM club, I decided today to think about the definition of a SAHM and after much thought this is it:

Stay at Home Mother (or Stayathomicus Mummicus) ; usually found in suburban areas, the SAHM is a rare breed normally identified by her clothes. Usually wearing joggies to cover her over sized backside and a stained t-shirt she lounges in front of daytime telly (usually presented by that other rare breed Jeremycus Kyleicus). It is not unusual for her to be adorned by war paint (made from the vomit of her offspring or coffee stains) and usually after preparing a dinner of bridie, chips and Irn Bru she will spend time watching repeats of the Trisha show, playing online bingo or hanging about the local park with aforementioned offspring. Normally considered to be brain dead from lack of neural stimulation.

AYE RIGHT!!!!!!!!!

Try this: Cook, cleaner, nurse, secretary, adminstrator, therapist, mind reader, teacher, seamstress, referee, child minder (for working pals, usually at short notice), accountant, banker, hostess (with the mostest), volunteer (for all things ridiculous), outrageous fancy dress manufacturer, present buyer, gardner and that doesn't include the nightshift or the Widow Twankey hat for doing the washing. (though I will admit to the oversized backside which is more to do with a serious chocolate addiction than sitting on it all day and I do wear Joggers but only to big Dunc's). And that's before you start with adding in exercise time. Brain dead? I have had to think quicker and be more flexible in the past nine years than in the previous fifteen........

Hoping for a lottery win for you A. Then we can be Ladies wot Lunch.......if we can find the time.