Saturday, 16 April 2011

Back yesterday from the lakes. An interesting and varied week, where a visit to a local safari park meant we got 'back to nature' in more ways than one.  A fantastic park where you could pat a penguin or feed a marmoset and watch lions fornicating from five feet. The last highlight wasn't an advertised attraction but upon entering the lion house (which disconcertingly had the lions behind bars five feet away) the lion decided to have his fun with the lioness at exactly the right moment. Scary to say the least. Lion porn is not something I want to witness ever again. I ushered the kids out of the building quickly to sounds which would have put fear of death into you. L said 'Just as well we left Mum, that lion was REALLY grumpy'. That along with being chased round an aviary by a hungry pig made it a day to remember, Especially when the pig gave up chasing us and cornered a posh woman with a bag of bird feed. We sneaked off as it left a trail of piggy snot along her handbag.

Made a mental note to think very carefully about the prospect of living in a caravan again. The beds were horrendous and I spent the last two nights sleeping along the couch as it was more comfortable than the extremely lumpy mattress. I don't think I could face that again.

Off this morning to the 'Bang Goes the Theory Roadshow' in the City Chambers.  Hilarious. If only because the audience consisted of overgrown nerds who were obviously out to get their jollies or long suffering parents like myself  along because I had to be. Sat listening to a complete eejit in front of me clapping, whistling and getting off on the fact that someone had popped a balloon filled with hydrogen gas. He must have been about thirty years old.  Whatever floats your boat I suppose. Behind me sat two 'scientists' one of whom droned on about his degree and how dissecting a pigs uterus was the worst thing he had ever done. He went into great detail while I sat and tried not to listen. H however loved the show while I amused myself by wondering how much I could have spent on Princes Street in the time we had sat there...........