Friday, 29 April 2011

Not funny. Ikea flat packed furniture assembly is NOT FUNNY. Especially when you are building a giant wardrobe for a wee bedroom. The problem started when S realised that the thing was supposed to be built on the floor flat on its back. Fine if you have bedrooms the size of football fields, we do not - so decided to build it vertically. Not good. Not even half good. I have never contorted myself into so many weird positions in my life. It was like Ikea Twister with the risk of standing on or being impaled on a nail. The final straw came when S dropped the hammer on his toe, by that point I couldn't even be bothered to laugh.

Spent the day doing nothing. Not the usual, but as everyone is was having the day off for the Royal Wedding,  I decided I would too.  Sat in front of the telly for a lesson in bad taste as I watched the rich, famous and peasants trip into the Abbey to view the wedding of the century.  It's a true saying that money doesn't buy you taste - what with Prince Andrew's panto dame daughters (more Addam's family than Royal family) and an array of outfits that would have made Gok Wan have a fit,  it was left to the Bride and her mother to outshine everybody else.  Never a Royalist, I sat glued to the spectacle and decided that they don't do big dos anywhere like in GB.  Loved the sight of Posh in her navy tent. Does that woman ever smile? She looked like a cross between the child catcher and Cruella de Ville. H was beside himself as he spied Rowan Atkinson and shouted, 'Muuuum! Mr Bean's been invited!'  Prince Harry on the other hand should be hired out for parties. Arrived looking like he has just fell out of a nightclub, hair unruly and wearing a uniform that he had obviously pinched from his grandpa's wardrobe. You can just imagine it,  'Can I borrow one of yours Grandpa? Of course Harry, just make sure you don't knock over the gin stash getting it out'.  You can just tell he would be a good laugh. They had left him in charge of three children in the carriage back. You could just imagine him saying 'anyone got a light?' and  'if we turn that way it's only two minutes to the Spearmint Rhino'. Bet the wee ones loved him..............