Thursday, 3 November 2011

Why you have to do PE....(and it's not the reason you think!)

Today's 'Eejit Parent of the Week Award' has to go to the dad I heard on the road home from school today.   Walking home with his chubby son in tow,  I overheard their conversation which went as follows : 'Daaad, why do I have to do PE?'  'Because you do son', 'But why? (whining voice) , 'Because' (wait for it) 'your fingernails will fall out if you don't.'  WHAT!  If I had had the opportunity to rewind that conversation and hear it again it would have been worthwhile. I could hardly believe it. How on earth did he dream that one up? How about saying, ' because if you don't move that chubby ass of yours and stay off the Wham bars you're going to end up a bloater!'  Now I have heard it all........

The Christmas telly adverts have started with a vengeance. Usually I don't see many as L and H tend to watch CBBC however they seem to have defected lately to CITV which is filled with them.  As a kid I used to watch them enthralled. Now I watch them and think, 'How much is that c**p going to cost'. I particularly hate the Barbie adverts and anything aimed at girls. Why do they think we need to hear everything in revolting sugary accents.  They should keep it real, something along the lines of 'Kid's you must buy this new piece of plastic cack because when it falls to bits it's great for clogging mummy's hoover'. Or  'Buy Mr Frosty because it will make a great mess of your mum's carpets'.  I remember the year L got 'Moon Sand'. Probably the shortest surviving Christmas present ever. By 6pm on Christmas day it had made it's way into the hoover bag never to be seen again....

This year I am not buying anything breakable, spillable, sticky or messy. Which rules out 99% of the stuff on the telly.....