Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Bring Me Sunshine........

Christmas Cards! If ever there was a flaming awful job, it has to be writing them. Last year I left it to the last minute and spent the week before Christmas frantically writing them and cramming them through folks doors. Why? All you do is write them to three lots of folk. The folk you want to write them to, (invariably the smallest list), then the folk you write them to because you don't want to offend them and thirdly the folk who you feel obliged to because they send you one every year but really you couldn't give a monkeys if they didn't. I bought mine half price on Saturday at BHS and I wrote them while L stuck them into the envelopes. Now they are sitting on the sideboard and as usual I will probably be stuffing them through doors at the last minute!

Promised the kids I would put up the tree on Friday. That means I will have to get S to haul it out of the loft when he comes back from down south. As usual he has taken off this morning and forgotten something.  This time his toilet bag.  I phoned him and he started to whine on about the fact that he had so much to take blah, blah, blah. Aye, along with the crate loads of wine and the calenders and diaries for his customers, he couldn't remember to take the most basic of stuff. Then to cap it all he phones at half past ten and says he has forgotten to book a hotel for that night. Cue me on the Internet like a loony, trying to book a hotel within the company budget. Since when was I employed by them? It would appear I am morphing into a secretary come PA for my own husband and I am not even on the payroll! To further add insult to injury he is meeting Mr Down on his Luck tonight so insisted on a twin room as pal is staying over for the night. Almost wanted to book a double. Visions of Morecambe and Wise spring to mind.......

L got up this morning claiming to have a cold. I will reserve judgement on that one until the end of school as I have a feeling she was trying to pull a fast one.......

Thursday, 1 December 2011

The Season of Good Will......

The first of December. Who'd believe it?  I have to confess that Christmas has never been a time that I have enjoyed,  in fact I would confess to cringing at it's arrival every year. I know there are loads of folk who can't wait to deck the halls but sadly if I could afford it,  I would jump on a plane to somewhere warm and pretend that it had never happened. Obviously having the kids has helped things but I don't think that I will ever truly relax at this time of the year. Why? Because Christmas was always a nightmare when I was a kid and a teenager - mainly because my mother could not cope with the stress of entertaining and morphed into an even worse control freak than usual. Christmas day was always a ruddy nightmare because we were not allowed to make a mess or get in the way in anyway. Dressed up in our Sunday best (to sit in the house - what was all that about?!) it was no fun what so ever. Invariably she went so high that a row would ensue between her and my Dad (usually not his fault) and then the atmosphere was thicker than the turkey gravy.  Dinner would arrive along with the guests (always late).  My paternal grandmother, her pal and an aunt of my Dads, a malevolent, bloomer wearing woman who masqueraded as a 'Christian'. Yes,  another one of those folk who went to church and thought because of it she could get away with being nasty. A major disappointment was awaiting her. (Note : putting ten quid in the Sunday School pot once a year doesn't necessarily curry favour either.) We would sit round the table while Gran's pal would polish off a ostrich sized turkey leg after proclaiming that she 'would never eat all that', aye right.  She said that every year.   I would sit in revulsion as Auntie P would chew her food with teeth that looked like she was breaking them in for a race horse.  It was like a scene from Roald Dahl's 'Twits'.  Highlight of the day was 'The Dick Emery Show' and 'The Morecambe and Wise Christmas Special'.  No wonder I have had such an aversion to Christmas. No amount of presents was worth the misery.

Until recently S and I have had Christmas on our own with the kids  mainly because I really could not bear the family thing at Christmas. Last year we had his mum, my brother in law and sister in law and the kids.  It was actually nice. Hopefully I have cracked the  curse of Christmas.........