Thursday, 3 May 2012

Pets, Lies and an American Escape

Well, I am finally back after nearly four months departure from writing. But due to a small minority  ( who obviously enjoy or feel comforted by my ramblings) I am back again.

So what have I done during my absence? Well the main stuff is:

A . Be stupid enough to buy my children a hamster without consulting S.

S was opposed to the idea, sanctimoniously quoting 'a hamster is for life not for Christmas' and warning against buying one.  However, I have had three and the kids are now a good age to understand the responsibilities of looking after one,  so Operation Pet Shop was launched. My sister in law and myself went off to the local pet shop  (she was buying a budgie) and that's where the fun started. They had loads,  but I knew I wanted the Syrian long haired type so plumped for a little ginger and cream one which was very active. Yes,  so damned active that it started to gnaw it's way out of the box on the road back in the car. I watched in horror as a larger and larger hole appeared in the side of the box finally having to cover it with my hand. If you have seen the size of hamster teeth or been on the receiving end of a bite then you will know how much damage they can exert,  but the thing was sticking its head out the hole. We got five minutes along the road and were convinced the budgie had died of shock as there was no noise and not a movement from it's box. Then the s**t really hit the fan. S phoned and asked where I was. I could hardly say 'sitting in your sister's car with a vampire hamster and paralytic budgie on my knee'.  So I told him I was at home doing the housework.  I am ashamed at how easily the lies tripped off my tongue. Anyway he was soon forgotten as the thought of arriving at our destination (in this case where they were being kept until Santa time) with an escaped rodent and paralysed bird was not a good prospect. Especially when the cages had cost a bomb.

Anyway, all worked out fine. The hamster is now much adored - once we all got over the fear of handling him.  Apart from having sussed that if he gnaws the bars he gets out of his house  -  he does it every night.  He might as well just get a sign painted with 'You'll no hear the telly until I get oot o' here'. And the budgie? Well , that's another story I'll save for later.....

B.The second major thing was our visit to Florida. I can honestly say the highlight of the year.( More like the century). It is going to take me a lifetime to write all about our two weeks over the pond.

I love America, for lots of reasons, but mainly because:

1 They are the most sincere people on the planet. If someone in the Co-op told you to 'have a nice day' you would look at them as if they had a screw loose. Not in the USA, they always look like they really mean it, even when they are probably thinking, 'What an a**hole'.

2 They have great shops (I should know, I just got my credit card bill today).

3 No matter were you go, there is always someone fatter than you are.

Aye, more on our American Vacation in my next post.....